? who am i ?

cant get to sleep yesterday night.. its already 3.43am n i m still awake.. thinking abt many many things.. many many.. so who m i now? ronnie? i dun noe.. coz i m sure tat the past ronnie isnt like this.. rolling left n right for 3 hrs to get to sleep but still cant.. some say i m a good guy, m i? now i m sure i m not, coz i broken the heart of some1 i love..

i said something tat really broke her heart.. see how bad i m.. ronnie is a "great guy", YA wat a SHIT man.. feel like escaping to a isolated place where there is nobody.. i noe i had been neglecting her.. busy working, spending time with my friends, family, myself.. i care for every1 around me, in the end neglecting her.. i feel bad n very very bad..

i told her "i dun wan to see u cry, coz u are the 1 tat i lay my whole heart on.. wat i promise n said 2 years ago still remains the same as it is now till the end or till i die.."

right here, i wan to make this a confirmation..

as u guys noe, i dun noe how to speak well.. i can say almost every1 see the happy, cheerful side of me.. joker, with humour, clown.. i moslty put a smile on my face, unless sometimes when i m working i will get a bit more serious.. but other than working hours i always put a smile on my face.. m i really tat? ok i admit tat, coz i wan to live life in a way with no trouble, letting the others see the beautiful side of life.. i keep things inside me, n of coz u all cant see.. i tried to solve everything, almost everything myself.. when friends are down, i wear a smile n console u.. telling u this n tat, maybe sometimes i nag, i dun noe..sometimes i m reserve, i keep quiet coz i noe u need time to cool down n think..

the past ronnie is patient, always not rushing for time, money is always not important.. had been thinking for a few weeks.. i would like to say "i m tired, i m really tired.." i need a rest, a long rest.. the life i wan is not really like wat i m now.. i was like wearing a mask.. i wan to take it out, right NOW.. some say i need to take things seriously.. "hahahahahaha" i noe when to take things seriously, it is juz tat i put a smile on my face to lower the tension..

who really noe ronnie inside out, i guess no 1.. coz sometimes i dun noe myself 2.. wat kind of life i wan? u noe? the only person i noe is me, myself..

guys i m alright, dun worry.. still alive.. the ronnie u all noe is still the same, skinny like a monkey, happy n cheerful..

sorry man, this is a sad entry.. but i promise the next entry will be a happy n cheerful wan, juz like the normal monkey-ron (Marco)

-->next entry on my trip to perak

(the simple life i wan) [a smile on u all face will brigthen up my life, especially charis]